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rainbowbarnacle:

roachpatrol:

samlikesboys:

All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.

the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn

By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.

(via katewonder)

— 4 months ago with 135937 notes
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    While he was out, the orgasm balanced his checkbook, dusted the patio, and mowed the lawn.
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